{"id":14593,"date":"2020-02-10T12:10:45","date_gmt":"2020-02-10T10:10:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/anapantazescu.ro\/?p=14593"},"modified":"2020-02-10T12:14:55","modified_gmt":"2020-02-10T10:14:55","slug":"atasamentul-nu-este-iubire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/anapantazescu.ro\/index.php\/2020\/02\/10\/atasamentul-nu-este-iubire\/","title":{"rendered":"Ata\u0219amentul nu este iubire"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\"><\/style>\n<p>O poveste spune c\u0103 odat\u0103 o feti\u021b\u0103 a primit un iepura\u0219, \u0219i de fric\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eel va pierde l-a str\u00e2ns \u00een bra\u021be p\u00e2n\u0103 l-a omor\u00e2t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mul\u021bi facem asta cu copiii no\u0219tri, \u0219i mul\u021bi facem asta cu so\u021bii, partenerii, prietenii no\u0219tri. \u021ainem prea mult str\u00e2ns obiectul dorin\u021bei noastre, \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00eel l\u0103s\u0103m f\u0103r\u0103 suflare. Adevarul este c\u0103 starea de permanent\u0103 posesie nu exist\u0103, \u0219i iubirea nu are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu posesia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Multi dintre noi ne g\u0103sim la un moment dat, c\u0103 \u00een c\u0103utarea parteneriatului perfect, facem o list\u0103 cu toate calit\u0103\u021bile pe care acea persoan\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 le aib\u0103, \u0219i cel mai important ce nu am vrea s\u0103 aib\u0103. C\u0103utam \u00een orice clip\u0103 \u00eentr-un posibil partener, sau chiar \u00een persoana de lang\u0103 noi, aceast\u0103 imagine ideal\u0103 pe care ne-am facut-o \u00een mintea noastr\u0103 \u0219i sper\u0103m c\u0103 ea\/el va fi jum\u0103tatea noastr\u0103, cea\/cel care ne va face s\u0103 ne sim\u021bim \u00eemplini\u021bi, \u00eentregi!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Adevarul este c\u0103 tot acest tablou nu este altceva dec\u00e2t o sum\u0103 a unor calit\u0103\u021bi care alc\u0103tuie\u0219te descrierea tuturor persoanelor de ata\u0219ament din copil\u0103rie \u0219i adolescen\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ne dorim odat\u0103 cu \u00eent\u00e2lnirea acelei persoane s\u0103 ne repar\u0103m, cu aceast\u0103 ocazie, toate r\u0103nile suferite, s\u0103 ne \u00eendeplineasc\u0103 \u00een sfarsit cineva nevoile a\u0219a cum voiam noi \u00een copil\u0103rie. \u0218i ce ocazie este mai bun\u0103 pentru a primi asta dec\u00e2t de la cineva care este familiar, cunoscut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ori de c\u00e2te ori ne \u00eendr\u0103gostim &#8211; starea de \u00eendr\u0103gosteal\u0103 nu este altceva dec\u00e2t o schizofrenie controlat\u0103 \ud83d\ude42 &#8211; se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 urm\u0103toarele procese: transferul, proiec\u021bia \u0219i negarea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Harville Hendrix spune \u00een cartea &#8220;Prime\u0219te iubirea pe care o dore\u0219ti&#8221; c\u0103 la \u00eenceputul unei rela\u021bii transfer\u0103m calit\u0103\u021bi ale persoanelor importante din via\u021ba noastr\u0103 asupra partenerului, proiect\u0103m p\u0103r\u021bi din noi respinse asupra lui\/ei, \u0219i de obicei sunt lucruri pe care noi ni le-am dori, dar nu ni s-au permis; \u0219i neg\u0103m suferin\u021ba cauzat\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 el\/ea are acele calit\u0103\u021bi nede\u021binute de noi \u00een\u0219ine. De unde \u0219i fraza dup\u0103 ce trece starea de \u00eendr\u0103gosteal\u0103: &#8220;Nu mai e\u0219ti persoana de care m-am \u00eendr\u0103gostit!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ce s-a schimbat este doar renun\u021barea la voalul perfec\u021biunii imaginate \u0219i tendin\u021ba de a crede c\u0103 ne-am g\u0103sit persoana care ne va ajuta s\u0103 ne \u00eentregim, \u0219i ne g\u0103sim \u00een aceea\u0219i situa\u021bie ca atunci cand eram mici.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In mod paradoxal cunoscutul este plasa de siguran\u021b\u0103 pe care o v\u00e2n\u0103m pentru a fi \u00een control, apel\u00e2nd la toate mecanismele de ap\u0103rare pe care ni le-am construit cand eram mici, tocmai pentru a supravie\u021bui! T\u0103njim dup\u0103 control, dup\u0103 predictibilitate, pentru c\u0103 acestea \u00eenseamn\u0103 siguran\u021b\u0103! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ata\u0219amentul nu este iubire, ata\u0219amentul este dorin\u021ba incon\u0219tient\u0103 pe care o avem de a ne fi \u00eendeplinite toate nevoile frustrate din copil\u0103rie!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Atunci ce este iubirea? Iubirea este atunci c\u00e2nd renun\u021b\u0103m \u00een mod con\u0219tient la &#8220;a cere&#8221; \u0219i renun\u021b\u0103m la propriul egoism, trec\u00e2nd \u00een lumea lui &#8220;a fi&#8221;. Un parteneriat con\u0219tient presupune&nbsp; credin\u021ba c\u0103 noi suntem cei care trebuie s\u0103 fim partenerii potrivi\u021bi, c\u0103 o rela\u021bie cere angajament, munc\u0103, respect, reciprocitate \u0219i responsabilitate!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>A iubi \u00eenseamn\u0103 a nu poseda, pentru c\u0103 posesia \u00een dragostea romantic\u0103 nu este altceva dec\u00e2t dorin\u021ba iubirii, \u0219i starea de dorin\u021b\u0103 nu este compatibil\u0103 cu &#8220;a avea&#8221; iubire!&nbsp; <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>O poveste spune c\u0103 odat\u0103 o feti\u021b\u0103 a primit un iepura\u0219, \u0219i de fric\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eel va pierde l-a str\u00e2ns \u00een bra\u021be p\u00e2n\u0103 l-a omor\u00e2t. Mul\u021bi facem asta cu copiii no\u0219tri, \u0219i mul\u021bi facem asta cu so\u021bii, partenerii, prietenii no\u0219tri. \u021ainem prea mult str\u00e2ns obiectul dorin\u021bei noastre, \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00eel l\u0103s\u0103m f\u0103r\u0103 suflare. Adevarul este c\u0103&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[118,35,36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cuplu","category-relatii","category-tipare"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Ata\u0219amentul nu este iubire - Ana Pantazescu Website<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ata\u0219amentul nu este iubire, ata\u0219amentul este dorin\u021ba incon\u0219tient\u0103 pe care o avem de a ne fi \u00eendeplinite toate nevoile frustrate din copil\u0103rie!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/anapantazescu.ro\/index.php\/2020\/02\/10\/atasamentul-nu-este-iubire\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ata\u0219amentul nu este iubire - 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